Whilst I may not be able to act on the first thing, I was recently handed the ability to act upon the second (breakthrough stuff I know).
Armed in hand with four different colours of paint and ten different stencils, I proceeded to attack every white (actually, pretty much any colour that showed the paint) t-shirt with my new found Damien Hurst mentality.
A stag head here, an anchor there, a star everywhere, my t-shirts were a-wash with artistic freedom. I expressed to the full extent my inner anguish and my deepest darkest angst.
No longer will people judge me or hold me back in life, my t-shirts are covered in my personality (I even strayed away from the stencils and did some of my own designs,) and covered in pink, green, blue and black liberty! Forever shall people see the real me! STAND STRONG BRITAIN!
It was after this revelation that I realised the stencils were intended for children/young teenagers, and they’re probably more creative than I am, and they might take better notice of the warning that the paint is permanent and their parents will probably pay more attention to the washing instructions of letting it dry for 4 hours and washing it inside out after 3 days (I have two paint stained shoes, a blurry smudged t-shirt and a bruised ego.)
Ryan Gosling wouldn’t have had this problem.